


It´s Not Very Romantic

by illusion_flight



Category: the GazettE
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-04
Updated: 2012-01-04
Packaged: 2017-10-28 21:55:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/312584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illusion_flight/pseuds/illusion_flight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tour has slipped into its second half, Kai is nervous and Aoi wants to help. But somehow their opinions on what the right healing procedure is differ.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It´s Not Very Romantic

**Author's Note:**

> Rating: R
> 
> Originally written on December 1st, 2009.

The same moment Aoi turned off water that was sprinkling from a water faucet, he heard a loud bang of the doors on a hotel room, he was staying in. He stepped out of the shower and started drying himself. However, after some time he stopped towelling his wet hair. Still, he listened to clamorous noises echoing from behind the bathroom´s doors. It must have been Kai coming back from a meeting with their staff.

The Gazette had been touring the country for the past month and they still had a few weeks or so ahead. So far playing the lives had been fun and everyone was enjoying the tour greatly, but even in the most flawless situations some problems occur from time to time. As usual Kai was the one handling all the paper work and if some technical problems occurred, he was always the one dealing with them.

Aoi knew tonight as well Kai had gone to one of the regular meetings with their crew which they were holding every night before a day of next concert. Aoi had gone once or twice as well, but usually it was only Kai who attended them on behalf the whole band. There weren´t many important things to discuss and besides it was Kai who did most of the speaking anyway. Aoi´s presence there was useless.

But that night discussion must have gone in a different direction than Aoi was accustomed to from his previous experiences. He was sure something wasn´t right. He could distinguish tensed atmosphere from acting of the man, moving in the room next to the bathroom. This was not usual Kai, slamming and throwing stuff around.

Aoi raked through his hair with one hand and then put a white towel around his waist. He was surprised how soft it was. It felt nice against his naked body, it made him shiver a bit. He opened the doors leading to their shared room. Moist, hot vapour blast accompanied Aoi as he stepped in. The other room itself was warm; right before the dark head went to take a refreshing shower, he had switched a heater in its corner on. It was the beginning of November and though it wasn´t particularly cold outside, during the nights temperatures fell down sharply.

Kai was turned with his back to him, furiously searching for something in his bag laid on his bed.

“You´re back.” Aoi said without greeting first and made the leader of the band jump.

“Ah, you surprised me.” Kai answered, turning his head to the side, so he could see the guitarist, the frown on his face loosened a bit. Then he went back to his previous activity.

“What happened?” The guitarist strode to his own bed on the other side of the room, just under the only window. He looked out. Without waiting for an answer, he added.

“It must be cold outside. I can hear wind whistling even here.”  
“Yeah, I know.”

“And…?”

.  
.  
.

“Sometimes they are acting just like a bunch of idiots, seriously.”

“Well,…”

“I know. I need a cigarette.” Kai sighed.

“I thought you stopped.”

“I did. Just going out to cool my head down wasn´t enough though.”

“Oh, come on, Kai. Just forget it, whatever it was.”

“I know. It´s just….”

“It´s going to be fine, right? When are we departing tomorrow?” Aoi tried to stir Kai´s thoughts in different direction.

“Eight in the morning.”

“Ah, that´s early…”

“Please, don´t be the same…”

The guitarist laughed cheerfully.

“Is that it?”

“And loads of other shit.”

The long haired man laughed once more. He sat down on the bed and leaned back to rest his back against the white wall, but immediately he sat up straight. The wall was cold and it sent chills through his entire body still warm from hot shower. He watched Kai rummaging through his things. After the drummer turned his every shirt over for the fourth time without success, he sighed, finally looked up again and turned his eyes towards his older bandmate.

“One.”

Aoi smiled, partly amused, partly feeling sorry for his friend. He stood up and opened a drawer next to his bed, snatched a packet of cigarettes lying on its bottom and sent it hurtling through air towards the other man.

“Thanks,” Kai whispered under his breath and in two jumps he disappeared on the hallway.

The older only laughed again, but suddenly he realized that the tour had leapt over into its other half. Kai was always the best indicator of that.

This period was defined by everyone being more stressed than usual, being more nervous. For Kai it meant to be more anal about every little detail, to be frown constantly- his famous dimples nowhere to be seen, and to be worried to no end. Of course they all wanted everything to be perfect as the final live was nearing, but Kai was the one who had the ability to upset himself over every single stupidity and stress himself to death. Aoi knew that deep inside the other still enjoyed playing and all the excitement around the tour, but sometimes he wished the drummer could do it without bringing himself to the brink of getting a heart attack. Somewhere in the back of his mind there was a small voice telling him they should all care more in order to save Kai a few worries. But his rational self always silenced the voice for Aoi knew nothing would really change. It was Kai´s nature to make himself distant in the worst times and thus be on the edge constantly. They could only try to make it a bit easier on him by being nice.

When Kai returned to the room, he wasn´t annoyed anymore. He was raging. He slammed the doors so hard that everything in the room shook in foundations. Aoi watched the other and a shadow of unsettlement crept over his face. It had started. But the guitarist saw that it was more obvious than ever tonight and it made him alert.

“Kai, what´s the matter? I thought a cigarette or two would help.” He voiced his worry.

“Yeah, they helped. But then those two new cows the company employed for this tour and their stupid chit-chat took care for a whole pack.” And Kai spun on his heel, his right hand formed in a round fist and hit oak wood of the doors, dull sound making the quiet room suddenly the loudest place in the hotel.

Aoi, who had managed to change into his pyjamas trousers in the meantime, quickly stood up from the bed, where he had been resting, reading some magazine he had found on the table in their room, and walked towards the angry man.

“Just calm down. And maybe tell me what happened?” He put his hand on the other´s shoulder and forcibly made Kai face him.

“Oh, whatever. I just don´t care anymore.” Kai muttered under his nose. He was obviously determined not to look into the other man´s eyes. His cheeks were flushed and his breathing fitful.

“Look, I don´t know what happened and I don´t really need to know, but I´ll grant you an advice. Just forget it. Go to bed. Look what time it is. If you end up all sleepy and grumpy tomorrow, I won´t take responsibility.” Aoi wanted to ease boiling atmosphere. There was another tough live awaiting them the following day and he felt like the best solution, if everything was to go according to plan the next day, would be just going to bed. But suddenly the guitarist noticed that the other brown headed man, despite his momentary hot temper, was actually freezing. Kai was wearing only a plain, thin, black tank top, he didn´t take any jacket when he had left the room before.

“Besides you are freezing.”

“I am not cold.”

Aoi raised his eyebrow and smirked.  
“I can clearly see that.” He walked behind Kai and before the younger could escape again, he placed his hands on the drummer´s back and started pushing him towards the bathroom.

“Now, be a good boy and listen to your elders. Take a shower and go to sleep. I am going to bed now.” When he finished, Aoi stretched out his arm from behind Kai and reached for a handle to open the doors for Kai.

But before he managed, he felt a strong grip on his forearm. Kai grabbed him, pushed his hand away from the handle and pulled Aoi to face him. The drummer shoved the other roughly against the bathroom entrance, Aoi´s back hurt, Kai´s hands in the fists again.

It seriously frightened the guitarist. He thought the other had finally lost his nerves and ever-present good will and decided to beat him up for his reckless joking when there was probably nothing to laugh at or for acting like he knew better. Aoi wanted to cover his face, lifting his arms up when Kai moved his hands up and hit the wood right next to Aoi´s head with both of his palms. The older man jerked his head to the side a bit and shut his eyes.

“What the hell,…” But the dark head didn´t get the opportunity to finish.

Kai moved his whole weight forward and all of a sudden Aoi found himself pinned tightly between the other´s body and the doors. His fear changed into unconcealed surprise when he felt his lip piercing painfully digging into his lower lip under the pressure of hard, dry, cigarette kiss. One of Kai´s hands dived into Aoi´s still wet hair and tugged his head to the side, making it easier to prolong the unexpected contact.

Aoi wanted to push the other away and yell _what the fuck Kai thought he was doing_ , but the drummer, despite his tiny looks, was really strong and he didn´t quite managed. When Kai finally broke the forced contact, he hugged Aoi with the other free arm. That threw Aoi into even bigger shock than he had been in before and the swearing whirling in his head stuck in his throat. He didn´t understand a thing.

Kai lowered his head, the guitarist could feel his hot breath on his neck, his lips almost touching it. It was sharp contrast to the cold arm holding him tightly and suddenly he felt nauseous. He had goose bumps all over his body. Aoi could barely recognize the words Kai uttered in low voice, muffled in the guitarist´s own neck and lost in his black hair.

“Please. I need…” Kai´s voice wasn´t shaking, neither it was broken like Aoi supposed it to be after the act the other put on after the kiss. It was firm, almost commanding. Next the older man could feel was Kai stepping closer and lifting one of his leg a bit, pressing against his crotch, making it obvious what he was asking for. Aoi groaned as thin fabric of his pyjama trousers rubbed his tights and other places he wished it didn´t. The drummer straightened up and stared to Aoi´s eyes hard and long. The guitarist said nothing.

What came after was something Aoi didn´t remember that well. He felt the younger man´s hands and lips of all over his torso. Kai´s fingers untangled a lace on his pyjama trousers and let them fall down from Aoi´s slender hips. Blood rushed into the dark headed man´s face, he wanted to cover himself, but there was nothing he could do. That moment he hated all the pyjamas trousers in the world that had only one stupid lace to hold them in place.

For a second Kai stopped touching him feverishly and with quick movements of his hands got rid of his own T-shirt. He then grabbed Aoi, who was breathing heavily, by his hand hanging limp by his side, pulled him towards his bed and pushed him down on it.

“Kai, what are you doing?” Aoi had to ask…  
But the drummer didn´t answer.

 

Next morning Aoi found himself in Kai´s bed, buried under the creased, white sheets. Kai was nowhere to be seen, but when the guitarist´s senses woke up just a few minutes after his body had done, he could hear familiar sounds of running water. The dark head inhaled deeply, strong scent of sex hitting his nostrils confirmed that the reality wasn´t a dream as Aoi wished it to be. The man stood up slowly, wrapping the sheets around his waist. Water stopped and Kai stepped out of the bathroom. When he saw Aoi had already woken up, he looked him straight into the eyes and said in casual tone.

“Good, I don´t have to wake you up. You should hurry if you want to make it on time including breakfast. Anyway, do you mind if I take one more cigarette?” And Kai turned his back to the older man and dressed himself.

Aoi´s mouth dropped wide open, he just nodded his head in agreement. The man had no clue how he should have reacted. He slowly walked to the bathroom and quickly splashed water on his face and then faced himself in the mirror hanging over the sink.

Aoi had only the faintest idea what was going on. There had been no feelings involved in the sex they had had. He could judge that much. At least on his side (still he wondered why he had allowed it) and it must have been the same for Kai. It was all about calming down the younger´s nerves. Only physical stretching for his tensed mind. But they were friends and in Aoi´s world friends just didn´t sleep with each other no matter what. However, what had been done had been done and they couldn´t just return back in time before they messed up. The guitarist didn´t know how to act, what to say. He cursed under his breath.

Aoi wished he could have prevented this all by simply giving Kai some more cigarettes to smoke. He would have bought all the cigarette of this world if it would help. He wanted to pretend nothing had ever happened and it really seemed it was better not to do anything at all. Kai showed him the way to go about the issue a few minutes ago, and so Aoi decided to follow his steps. However, maybe it wasn´t the best idea after all, especially considering an unexpected turn of events that followed. But even if Aoi had seen it coming, he would have been able to do nothing to stop the crazy of next few weeks.

Aoi never thought the history of that night would repeat. But when another stressful moment came there he was again, feeling Kai´s heart racing against his own back, as the younger penetrated him and was thrusting into him wildly and hard. What got lost in the midst of frantic heartbeats, moves and Aoi´s frustrations was the secure hold of Kai´s fingers on his hip, the soft caress healing the marks that grip was leaving and feather kisses ghosting over his spine. Aoi never really registered them, even if they were a reason why he, though not admitting it, almost waited for the next outburst of nervous passion. He took Kai taking care of him for granted. Their moans were echoing in their hotel rooms, but only so that the rest of the band in the neighbouring rooms wouldn´t notice. And for the rest of their tour until early December Kai never mentioned what was going on between them. Never wanted or tried to explain. And thus Aoi assumed the reason behind it every time Kai furiously pounded his frustrations into his obedient body and smoked a cigarette or three.

Many times the raven headed man thought about bringing the topic up himself, wanting to put things to their end, but as their escapades mounted, he was more and more afraid of what the other would tell him. He didn´t really wanted to hear.

But in his anxiety Aoi was being even more oblivious. Secret glances during the morning coffee time, rapid taping of Kai´s leg under the table they were all sitting around, fingers drawing knotty figures on the wood, it all went unnoticed.

Aoi just couldn´t take that the other acted so carefree. Ever since the night it had happened for the first time the older man felt awkwardness building around them. When they were together with the rest of the band, it was easier to behave normally, it was easier to avoid Kai. As soon as they were left alone, Aoi could almost see the impenetrable wall growing between them. Ordinarily Kai acted as usual; just sometimes it looked like he tried to show some other, different kind of approach to Aoi. In those rare moments, the drummer would smile at the dark head even when he frowned at everyone else, he would laugh at his usual, stupid jokes when no one else did. But then tired Aoi thought it might have been only him seeing things, he maybe wished to see happening. Thus the older man would have just gone to bed if it had started to be unbearable in the room (and yes, somehow they always shared the same one, as if Kai made sure of it every time), but most of the time they would have ended up doing what Aoi feared the most.

They were fucking for sanity.

\---

The tour ended. It was the middle of December, it was cold outside, freezing like it had never been before. Or at least Aoi felt that way. It was decided by the company management that The Gazette would get their well-deserved time-off for the rest of the year. But right before they could enjoy their freedom, they were all to attend a Christmas party thrown by PSC. Their bosses prepared the gathering in order “for the bands to bond” as they liked to call it, every band signed under the company had to go.

“Ah, I really don´t want to go there.” Ruki groaned as they were all standing in front of the company building. All the members except Kai gathered there, unconsciously, without any plans to arrive at the same time. The small vocalist looked really annoyed by the perspective of the night spend by socializing, his least favourite activity.

“Well, it can´t be helped.” Uruha remarked and grinned widely what could be clearly heard in his voice. Because when the lead guitarist imagined the amount of free alcohol at the party, he really had no reason to complain. Reita standing right next to him only snorted and gave his best friend a hard pat on his back.

“As expected. Anyway, let´s go inside, it´s damn cold here.” And the bassist stepped forward resolutely. Uruha followed him immediately and Ruki too, after he had demonstrated his strong dislike with one last, deep sigh.

The sigh was loud enough to drown out Aoi´s own. Their vocalist voiced out his own biggest worry. He really didn´t care for other people there, and although he might have enjoyed the whole party a great deal since he knew he will spend the next day of actual Christmas alone, given the events of last few weeks, the party was the last thing he needed.

The truth was that since they had come back to Tokyo, he didn´t meet Kai. After the final live they had only one meeting where Kai was suspiciously absent (they were told he had called in sick) and now he was missing again. He might have already been inside or he might not yet. One way or another, this time their meeting was inevitable and Aoi really wasn´t in the mood.

In those few days back in his apartment, the guitarist realized he had suffered the major case of so-called denial during their tour. What else it could be when he let their drummer mess with him like that. When he slept with him without any objections. Aoi knew that in the beginning it was only a merciful fuck, but in the end it had all change. He definitely wasn´t planning on any of it, he definitely didn´t want any of it. But now when he finally understood, what the fear he felt when he thought about ending it all was about, he admitted that something moved in him. For a second Aoi thought this was kind of woman-like weakness that had woken up in him, but he quickly dismissed the idea, it was difficult enough to admit actually being in love.

Aoi always cared for Kai. He was his friend, a bandmate, the responsible leader he could rely on. That´s all. All Aoi had ever wanted him to be. Moreover the man was never a fan of unreciprocated love. And he assumed that was exactly what he had developed for Kai.

 

It was some time before midnight. The guitarist was standing in the biggest hall of the company building, looking through a huge panorama window. He was clutching a glass of wine in his hand that he never touched. He felt strong need for cigarette or maybe even a whole pack, but it wasn´t allowed to smoke in there, so he instead finally took a big gulp of warm wine. As he turned away from the window and considered his chances to disappear from the party unseen, he spotted Kai for the first time that night.

The younger brunette was talking to Uruha, who was currently raiding a buffet, to be exact its liquor section. Aoi could see a smile on Kai´s face and sudden relief flooded him, knowing their drummer was back to his usual cheery self. However, his own frustration only deepened and he headed towards the nearest exit. The long haired man kept his head down and didn´t realize that Kai had noticed his poor attempt to get away and walked to him.

“Aoi.” He addressed the other, causing Aoi to jump in surprise.

“Ah, Kai. Hi. You feeling better now?” Aoi asked, trying to look as innocent as possible.

“What are you doing? Where are you going with that glass?” Kai´s eyes narrowed, jolly smile never leaving his lips. Only then Aoi realized he had forgotten to put the glass away.

“Eeeer…. I was thinking of going out for a cigarette. Wanna join me?” When his own words reached his brain, he inwardly slapped himself. What was he trying to say here? Was he overreacting? So he quickly added.

“Oh, but you don´t smoke…. Sorry… ”

“Well, technically I don´t, but ….”

Kai was interrupted by Aoi.

“Just….forget it. I think I will go and get myself another glass of this.” The guitarist lifted the drink.

“That´s better idea. I want one too. I took a train tonight so I can drink.” Kai brightened and they both walked to the table where Uruha was bickering with Reita over something.

“Hi, guys.”

“Don´t mind him. He´s already had his share.” Reita laughed and tried to persuade Uruha to go out with him for a while.

“I guess he needs fresh air. Anyway, have you seen Ruki?”

“I saw him leaving like 10 minutes ago.” Kai replied and looked confused.

“Oh, that bastard run away and left me alone with him. I think I´ll follow soon.” Reita sighed and glanced at Uruha, knitting his brows together because he would have to leave the party earlier than he had planned.

Aoi had to laugh. Uruha was incorrigible. The guitarist felt Kai´s eyes wandering over his face and he could feel his red rushing to his cheeks. Thus when their fellow bandmates finally left, he quickly took another glass of golden liquid from the table and drank it all. For once being drunk would be a good excuse.

“Oi, Aoi. Be careful!” Kai exclaimed. “Or else I´ll end up like poor Reita, taking you home on my back or something.”

Hearing him saying this Aoi almost choked. Suddenly the teasing atmosphere changed completely. Kai moved in front of the guitarist, his voice became serious.

“I need to talk to you, Aoi.”

The long haired man looked up quickly, excitement flickering in his eyes. Was Kai going to say something about what had happened between them during the tour? But his anticipation was broken off once again by another voice coming from behind Kai´s back.

“Yo, Kai- chan.”

Aoi could recognize Tora, a guitarist from Alice Nine. Kai frowned, but nevertheless replied cheerfully.  
“How are you?”

Tora reached both men and waved his hand in greeting.

“I am fine. What about you?”

Aoi knew Kai had been dating Tora for several months. But as far as he knew they broke up a few months before Gazette´s tour and he didn´t meet the other since then. The two of them were talking about their tour and some other stuff and Aoi was slowly falling into his previous gloominess.

“….so are you with someone now?”

Aoi´s ears caught Tora´s last question. He turned his eyes to Kai´s face and focused on it. Kai opened his mouth to say something, but he didn´t even get a chance to raise his voice, Tora interrupted him.

“Aaaah, sorry, you just had a tour. So it´s impossible.” Snide smirk appeared on his face. Aoi noticed that Kai got annoyed by this remark and the attitude. Then the drummer spoke up.

“Well, actually I do have someone.”

Aoi´s mouth gaped. What? Who? When? His head dropped, he took his third glass of wine from the table and finished it in one go again.

“Sorry, guys. I think I´ve had enough for tonight. I´m going home.” The guitarist spoke up, spun on his heel and started walking towards the doors leading out. His head was spinning, his stomach was aching. He ignored the look Tora gave him. He just had to get away. Leave the place. He needed sleep. Partly because he was still tired from the exhausting performances, but mostly because he hoped his mind would stop bothering him at least for next 8 hours. As Aoi stepped out into the cold night and lifted his arm to call himself a taxi, he couldn´t hear voice calling his name anymore. As soon as he got into the warm car, he fell into deep slumber and then he continued in this sweetest act of redemption when he came back to his flat.

\---

It was almost three in the afternoon when the doorbell of Aoi´s apartment sprung into its nasty charge. The guitarist groaned, for a few second considered ignoring whoever it was behind the doors disturbing his precious free time and the Christmas day, which he meant to spend sulking. In the end he involuntarily rolled down from the warm bed and as he was, half-naked, only in the pyjama trousers, he slowly tottered in direction of the source of annoying sound. He didn´t even bother to look who the visitor was and he flung the door open, his face automatically putting on antsy expression to welcome the violator.

But it lasted only for another few second because as soon as he saw the person who was causing all that racket his facial muscles froze and then slowly slackened into unhappy smile. It was Kai. His hands were full of bags. After what seemed like forever the drummer spoke up.

“Wow, you are actually still in the bed.”

“Huh?” Aoi didn´t manage anything coherent.

“Never mind, it´s still a daytime anyway. So will you let me in or will you just stand there like a pole in the middle of the field and stare at me like if I was Uruha saying he will quit alcohol?”

That little speech and little chuckle that Kai dedicated to his own joke woke Aoi up and he blushed. Aoi was starting to think he was cursed, God just decided to give him no chance to tackle from his heart issues. What had he done to deserve such punishment? Still unable to respond in proper manner, Aoi just stepped away from the doors, as the other carried all the bags across the threshold and then he closed them, finally forcing his voice to function

“What´s that, Kai? And why are you here?” After all Aoi couldn´t suppress his curiosity about all those bags the other brought with him. Moreover, he really didn´t understand the point of Kai´s visit. It was the Christmas day. He thought Kai would be travelling home for the holidays as usually.

“Food…and stuff. And I just thought that you wouldn´t want to spend Christmas alone.” Kai lifted some of the plastic bags again and continued talking fast. “Can you help me with these? Let´s take them to the kitchen.”

He started walking towards their destination and Aoi could do nothing but follow the man with his hands full as well.

“And I didn´t want to be alone too… I admit that. Besides, Aoi…” Kai droped everything on the table in Aoi´s super clean, minimalistic kitchen, frowned, looked at the other uneasy man standing in the middle of the room and finished the sentence in the manner of the previous night

“…we still need to talk.”

Aoi gulped down, put his load down as well, his mouth became dry, he went to the sink to have a glass of water. When he turned around he realized that Kai had disappeared, leaving him alone. He wondered where the other went. First thing that came to his mind was the living room, so he moved there and found out he was right. Kai was bent over his collection of music CDs, humming silently. Without acknowledging Aoi´s presence he said in accusing tone.

“You don´t have any Christmas music, Aoi. How come? And there is no decoration. We need to do something about that.” Kai straightened up and flashed his best dimple smile at Aoi. The guitarist´s stomach twisted. Why the heck was the other torturing him?

“Kai…” He opened his mouth to finally tell the other to spill why he really, really came that day, but again he was interrupted. The whole situation was turning more than ridiculous. Suddenly the thought of Kai maybe being nervous himself occurred to him, but he didn´t have an opportunity to think about it for too long as the younger man spoke.

“Aoi, I know… just let´s take it slowly today, OK?” What? Aoi was confused.  
“I don´t know what you are talking about, Kai. You are being totally weird… and I don´t like it…”

“Oh…” There was momentary silence.

Then…

“Just sit here and wait. I am going to get something.” Kai immediately flew to the hall where he left his backpack. And so Aoi sat on his black, leather couch and waited, resignedly. In a few seconds the other was back with something in his hands. It was a suspicious, long package.

“Here,” he handed to Aoi. “I owe you these.”

“What is it?”

“Look inside.”

Aoi cautiously unwrapped the present in his hand. When he realized that it was a package of cigarette packs, his brain ceased to function completely and his mind entered the state of utmost chaos.

“Kai, now…what the fuck….”

“I know….ok… this is really stupid…I won´t play this game anymore.” Kai was stuttering.

Aoi threw the package to the coffee table in front of him.

“Spill it.” He was annoyed.

“What did you think yesterday…well, it was today actually, when I said I had someone?” Kai apparently wasn´t going to beat about the bush anymore. He raised his eyebrow and continued.

“You know, you are kind of slow, Aoi… I didn´t think that about you.” The smile crept into the younger man´s face.

“I just came to confirm one thing with you. I thought it was kind of obvious, but I guess it was not and I won´t say it´s not my fault. Maybe I should have said something earlier.”

And Aoi, despite basically being called dumb just a few moments ago, slowly started to understand. His heart was thumping loudly in his chest and in his ears. He was afraid the other could hear the thunder it was causing by its wild pounding too.

“So this is it?”Aoi asked.

“Yes.”

“I never guessed.” Aoi´s voice was faint, but the man felt strangely calm. After so many stressful weeks it was a pleasant change if anything.

 

“I figured.” Kai seemed to feel a bit guilty, his ears turning slightly pink.

“Well….am I supposed to say something now?” Aoi asked because unconsciously he was waiting for this declaration (although for Kai it was obviously more of confirmation) for a really long time, but now the moment was here, he didn´t know what to do. Even though he felt like dancing polka to a Christmas song (that he didn´t have), he wanted to keep a cool head.

“I don´t know.” Kai answered visibly amused. “Maybe you could tell me where I stand in this for you. Would be actually nice to know.”

Aoi shook his head and took the package into his hands again, looking at Kai.

“So this one is like… Christmas present to make it all up to me.”

“Eeer…. What did you think it was?” The drummer asked sheepishly.

“I don´t know. You tell me. Because it is not really a romantic one.” And Aoi couldn´t help it anymore, the mood to tease the other returning. He was grinning at the other man. All of a sudden he realized the holidays maybe wouldn´t be so blue.

“Well, it´s true that first time it was only a desperate fuck.” Kai bluntly admitted with now-obvious guilt in his voice. It made Aoi feel a secret satisfaction.

“That´s not very romantic either.” Aoi remarked dryly.

“I know, that´s why I brought a cake as well.” Kai´s tone changed to cheerful and he disappeared again only to come back right away, holding a platter with snowy white mass. A strawberry shortcake. Now, that was much better, Aoi thought. But he wouldn´t let the other know so easily.

“Now, this is very Japanese. Should I consider it romantic as well? But since when are Japanese romantic?”

Kai giggled. Aoi pouted, stood up, came closer to Kai and went on. “I really don´t know.”

“Will something change if I say I baked it myself? Isn´t it sweet?”

Aoi smirked and dipped his finger into the whipped cream topping and sucked at it seductively away, eyeing Kai for his reaction. But the other´s face was dead serious.

“Maybe.” Aoi teased and this time he took the platter from Kai´s hands completely and put it on the table. “It depends on how sweet those strawberries are.” He stole the biggest strawberry from the centre of the cake, put halfway into his mouth and turned back to Kai.

In a flash, Kai closed the distance left between them and bit on the fruit. The strawberry took them by surprise, being too sour and they both shrugged. It only urged them both to get rid of it faster, swallowing as their lips met with full force once again and their tongues tangled in a sloppy dance flavoured in strawberries and delight. Kai´s hand reached for the back of Aoi´s neck automatically in a gesture that he learned in the past weeks and he pressed his whole body against the other. The heat was gradually rising. When the guitarist finally broke the kiss for air, he whispered.

“Sweet, very sweet.” Aoi was not lying, he grabbed the other´s hand. This time it was him who was dragging Kai, up the stairs and into his bedroom. When they reached the room, Kai caught on, swiftly taking his T-shirt off. He pushed Aoi against the nearest hard surface, the doors to Aoi´s bathroom. Their mouth clashed impatiently and Aoi could feel Kai´s hands roaming on his body.

Only when the drummer´s naked skin rubbed against his, Aoi realized that all this time he had been only in his pyjama pants. Kai´s fingers found his erect nipples, caressed them and then playfully pinched them, all that without breaking the passionate game of their mouths. Aoi felt one of Kai´s hand straying down from his chest to his abdomen, untangling a string of his pyjama pants. Loose, they fell down. Chilly air hit Aoi´s lower parts and he remembered.

This was how it had started. Only now Aoi was determined to buy a few more of these pyjamas that had only one string to hold them up.

So they can make love for their sanity.


End file.
